Friday, December 19, 2008

I'm An Idiot



In an attempt to save money I cut my own hair.

I look like a 12 year old. It's so 90's -- it hurts!

My friends told me to get layers.

I told them sure! Then I can go from Monica to Rachel.

Conversations from the Other Room

Bubby: Hey, mailman!

Alyssa: Bubby! I'm a girl. Call me mail ma'am.

Bubby: Mail ma'am?

Alyssa: Yes! I'm a girl so it's mail ma'am. Boys are mailmen, girls are mail ma'ams. Call me
ma'am.

Bubby: Mail ma'am?

Alyssa: Forget it! Just call me lady mailman. *heavy sigh*

(December 18, 2008)

How Did Myspace Know?



I am 25 AND I am overweight!

(December 17, 2008)

My Friend

My Sophia came up to me yesterday, climbed up into the chair with me, wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "You my fren, Mommy."

It was one of the sweetest moments of my day.

(December 14, 2008)

Never Been My Problem


I'm A Marilyn


You are a Marilyn --
"I am affectionate and skeptical."
Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes.
Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.
How to Get Along with Me
* Be direct and clear
* Listen to me carefully
* Don't judge me for my anxiety
* Work things through with me
* Reassure me that everything is OK between us
* Laugh and make jokes with me
* Gently push me toward new experiences
* Try not to overreact to my overreacting.
What I Like About Being a Marilyn
* being committed and faithful to family and friends
* being responsible and hardworking
* being compassionate toward others
* having intellect and wit
* being a nonconformist
* confronting danger bravely
* being direct and assertive
What's Hard About Being a Marilyn
* the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
* procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
* fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
* exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
* wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
* being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations
Marilyns as Children Often
* are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
* are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
* form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
* look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
* are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent
Marilyns as Parents
* are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
* are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
* worry more than most that their children will get hurt
* sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries
This is pretty much right on. Who are you? It's only TWO questions.

I Want


I want to be on a beach with the sand between my toes.
I want to chop off my hair and get highlights.
I want to go to Target and spend money.
I want to put on my shoes and run outside in the fresh air instead of on the treadmill.
I want to hear a new song that doesn't sound like every other "new" song.
I want to knit.
I want a sewing machine so I can make my girls beautiful dresses.
I want my precious Olivia to stay a baby. She is growing too quickly.
I want everyone to start saying "Right here" like Sophia does. "Bite der!"
I want to go to school for Web Design and do something with myself.
I want a new camera.
I want to magically be skinny.
I want stress to go away.
I want to win the Lotto.
I want to move back to Ohio.
I want to throw all the furniture in my living room away and get new stuff.
I want one more beautiful, sunny Fall day.
I want to have Amy Winehouse's voice so I can be a Rock Star minus the crack.
I want a new bed so the pain in my back goes away.
I want one day to myself so I can sleep in late, take a nap, watch TV, read a book and get my hair did.
I want to be able to remove a wedgie from my butt in the middle of Walmart with no shame.
**Note to self: Buy the new wedgie-free undies**
I want to play the piano, guitar and drums.
I want to join a Church so I can sing in the choir.

I want to punch someone and not be punched back.
I want to be a Karate Kid.
I want to never shave my legs again.
I want perky boobs again instead of these udders.
I want Sophia to be two forever. The kid is awesome.
I want to know Robert Downey Jr.
I want Christian Siriano and Masi Oka to be my best friends.
I want to run my fingers through Sendhil Ramamurthy's hair.
I want to meet Bob Dylan.
I want to go back and see the Beatles live.
I want to be a super hero.
Yes, I have many wants. I may not have these things, but at least I have my kids.
(December 7, 2008)

It's For Real

Bubby: Mom, Sophia took all the blankets off Alyssa's bed.

Me: (nursing baby) Did she? Sophia did you take the blankets off your sisters bed? Alyssa check to see if all the blankets are off your bed.

Alyssa: Yes. They're all off. It's just the flowers now. You have to come and see. It's for real!

*sigh*

Happy Monday.

(December 8, 2008)

Six Year. Time Flies.

As of 5:38 PM tomorrow I have been a Mommy for 6 years. At this time 6 years ago I was in bed with Ryan watching movies. We were going to Heidi's for dinner that night so we were being lazy.

The contractions started around 10:30 on that Monday night. I was walking up the stairs to Kevin's room to ask Ryan if he was ready to go. I had to stop mid-way because I had my first contraction (or at least the first one I could actually feel). I remember thinking, "Dude! What the heck was that?" That's when Heidi told me it was probably a contraction. By the time we got home they were every 45 minutes apart.

That was a very long night. I slept through a lot of it, but Ryan told me the next morning I moaned all night.

By 8:00 the next morning they were every 5 minutes. Ryan called his boss and I called the Doctor. The Doctor told me to wait until they were every 2 minutes apart. I then informed him that we had just moved 50 minutes away from the hospital and that I wasn't trying to have her in the car! He told me to come right in.

On the way there my husband decided we needed to stop for gas and a car wash. Yes, a car wash. He didn't want to bring the baby home in a dirty car!

We got to the hospital around 10:50. Around the time for the epidural I thought I was going to die. The nurses and my Mother-in-law were in awe of my calmness. I wasn't calm, on the inside I was freaking out. After I got the epidural I told a complete stranger I loved him.

That stranger -- the Anesthesiologist.

A few hours later it was time to push. I was terrified I was going to be pushing for hours. 20 minutes later, she was in my arms. I thought I would cry, I didn't. I just wanted her bundled and back in my arms. The first thing I said when I saw her sweet face was, "She looks JUST like you!" She did, too. She was a mini-Ryan.

She was tiny and perfect. My entire world changed that day and it hasn't been the same since. I was 19, married and thought I had life figured out. Little did I know my growing up was just beginning.

She was the beginning for me. My life began the day she came into it. I was meant to be a Mommy and I knew that the second I looked into her eyes. She changed me for the better.

Tomorrow she will be my big 6 year old and I would be lying if I said I'm not sitting here with tears running down my face. Yes, she can drive me crazy. She challenges me daily. However, she is one of the most amazing kids ever. She just has this way about her. She makes anyone and everyone feel special.

She is bossy and sweet. She is kind to others. She is smart, funny, talented and beautiful.

Basically, she is amazing. I would give my life for her.

Happy Birthday, Alyssa Grace. Mommy loves you more than anything.

(December 9, 2008)

Drama at 7AM

Oh, Alyssa. I love the child.

The neighbors decided to put up their Christmas tree at some point in the evening. Alyssa asked me last night when Christmas was and I told her about a month away. She was excited and went to bed.

This morning she got up, opened the blinds and noticed the Christmas tree in the neighbors window. THAT is when the drama began.

"They have their Christmas tree up?! Why?! Oh no! Daddy and Mommy didn't put up the tree, we missed Christmas. We totally missed Christmas, Sophia. Santa didn't come! We got nothing, no toys!"

*cue tears*

"I cannot believe we missed Christmas. They didn't even take us to Ohio! Christmas is over and we have no toys because DADDY and MOMMY forgot to put up the TREEE!"

She then ran into Bub's room and woke him up by yelling his name and repeating how Dad and Mom robbed them of Christmas. I was just trying to finish nursing the baby. When I got up she was livid with me. I just looked at her and said, "What did I tell you last night?" She replied, "Christmas isn't for another 33 days?" To which I replied, "Yep! You didn't miss Christmas, they just put their tree up before we did."

*End drama*

(November 21, 2008)

10 weeks.

Olivia will be 10 weeks old tomorrow. She is a wonderful baby. Her smile just melts me and those cheeks! I could sit on the couch with her and kiss them all day long.

She is a strong little thing. She hates tummy time and has decided that rolling over to her back is the best way to take care of that problem. Yes, she rolls over. Scares the crap out of me!

Her little neck is getting stronger and stronger. She loves to talk. Especially if the other party is Alyssa.

Mornings are so fun. I have 4 little faces that are smiley and so excited to start the day.

She has started kicking in the bathtub. I don't think she knows she controls it and it honestly scares her a little.

She still loves baths. She can be gassy and crying and will give the biggest smile filled with excitement when you start to undress her. She just knows.

Ryan asked me yesterday when I was planning on switching to formula. I said, "I hadn't really planned on it". There was silence and then we both started laughing and I said, "Imagine that! Me, bottle Mom, not ready to stop breastfeeding!". I really enjoy it. It is a completely different experience than it was with Alyssa. It is calming for both of us. Alyssa and I would sit in a chair, crying for hours while I talked to the lactation consultant begging her to tell me what I was doing wrong.

That said, I still support bottle feeding. I love not having to wash bottles, but I still support it. It is one of those topics that I just don't understand the arguing. Just support each other as women and enjoy every single moment with that baby. Breast or bottle doesn't matter -- How you love that baby does.

Basically life is as it should be. We wonder how we managed without Olivia and I wonder why I wanted to stop at 3. I have some amazing kids. They can drive me crazy and melt my heart in a matter of two seconds.

What an emotional roller coaster this thing called "MOM" is.

(November 5, 2008)

Drag Queen Dreamin'



Last night I had a dream that I was watching a Drag Queen Workout video on TV.

I started exercising with them and got a glimpse of my legs. They were HUGE. Like, bigger than both of my legs put together, HUGE!


Confessions of a Five Year Old Drama Queen

We have had some long days around here. By 8:30 I'm usually left feeling like I've failed everyone yet again. We were finding a groove and I was functioning again then this thrush crap decided to visit and take over my life. Don't get me wrong, being a wife and Mom of four still had its overwhelming moments, BUT I was figuring it out.

I had managed to convince myself that being a Mom of 4 wouldn't be so hard. It was just one more little person to take care of, no biggie. Yes, I knew there would be adjusting but isn't that what we do in life... adjust?!

I had no idea that my fun, loving, beautiful, funny 5 year old was about to turn into an emotional mess. This mess leaves me in about tears 2 times a day and has my feeling of failure on over-drive. At the end of the night I am left with questions: Am I giving her enough attention? Did I need to be that hard on her? Maybe she can skip cleaning her room today? Maybe I should have played Candyland one more time? Maybe I should have let her...? What if I had handled that differently? What if?

Then I begin to wonder if maybe I spent so much time worrying about how Sophia would adjust I didn't give enough thought to how Alyssa and Bub would feel. Then I wonder, is it just her age? I was pretty emotional at 5. I was an absolute mess at 5. It was the age I became aware of things like sickness, cancer and pregnancy (I once thought I was pregnant because I laid on a bed next to my boyfriend, Jamie, I had myself convinced I was experiencing morning sickness). I also remember writing my Mother terrible hate letters because I felt she treated my brother, Brandon, better than me (to this day I know she she favored him. He was the "good" son. That boy was the reason for 99% of my spankings).

Here are just a few of the things Alyssa said to me today:
*You are not my Mother anymore!
*You are not the Dad, I only listen to my Dad.
*I.... do not.... love you, anymore!
*You cannot tell me what to do!
*I am not your daughter, I am my Dad's daughter only.
*You cannot speak to me like this!! (I love that one)

Alyssa: I am leaving this house!!
Bubby: Where will you go?
Alyssa: Across the street!!

Why, Jesus, did you give me three daughters. Was it that curse my Mother put on me: "I hope you have a daughter that is just as mouthy as you"? Is that it? Am I being punished for the crimes against my own Mother?

*sigh*

It's been a long day. I'm going to go check on my dinner.

I would just like to add that I love my girls. Alyssa may be a drama queen, but all the fabulous ones are!

(September 27, 2008)

Four Weeks

I just realized my Olivia is one month old today. Where did the time go? She is quite the fabulous little thing. I love the mornings, she is one smiley baby in the mornings. I also love those rare moments when she focuses in on one of us and gives the biggest grin. It makes everyone feel good to have a baby look at you and really smile.

She is over me and my camera waking her from naps.
*She hates being put into her car seat, but loves car rides.
*She hates getting naked for her baths, but love baths.
*She hates being swaddled, but sleeps for hours when she is.
*She is not a fan of pacifiers which makes me sure she is mine.
*She goes from insane crying to completely calm when Ryan says, "What is it?"
*She loves the sound of the ocean. It makes her fall asleep instantly.
*She loves to look around and has a lot of head control.

She is happy most of the time and sleeps very good during the night. We do 1-2 feedings and she's good. She is a snuggly little thing and my favorite moments with her are when she snuggles her face into my neck. It is honestly like a moment of Heaven.

The kids are crazy about her and her Dad thinks she's breakable like he did the others when they were this small. It is pretty cute when they have their little conversations though.

I have been trying to not let the Thrush take away these special moments that you don't get back. This is the only day that she will be exactly 4 weeks old. Man, time really does fly. Sometimes, a little too quickly.

(September 25, 2008)

A Baby Changes Everything

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
4. You respect your body ... finally.
5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
9. Your heart breaks much more easily.
10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
11. Every day is a surprise.
12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you.(Hooray for poop!)
13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
14. You become a morning person.
15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

And from our readers...
1. "You discover how much there is to say about one tooth." — Ashley's mom
2. "You finally realize that true joy doesn't come from material wealth." — Anonymous
3. "You now know where the sun comes from." — Charlotte
4. "You'd rather buy a plastic tricycle than those shoes that you've been dying to have." — Sophie's mom
5. "You realize that although sticky, lollipops have magical powers." — Roxanne
6. "You don't mind going to bed at 9 p.m. on Friday night." — Kellye
7. "Silence? What's that?" — Anonymous
8. "You realize that the 15 pounds you can't seem to get rid of are totally worth having." — Brenda
9. "You discover an inner strength you never thought you had." — Ronin and Brookie's mom
10. "You no longer rely on a clock — your baby now sets your schedule." — Thomas' mom
11. "You give parents with a screaming child an 'I-know-the-feeling' look instead of a 'Can't-they-shut-him-up?' one." — Jaidyn's mom
12. "Your dog — who used to be your 'baby' — becomes just a dog." — Kara
13. "You take the time for one more hug and kiss even if it means you'll be late." — Tracey
14. "You learn that taking a shower is a luxury." — Jayden's mom
15. "You realize that you can love a complete stranger." — Dezarae's mom

(October 3, 2008)
I was thinking the kids had gotten over the fact that the baby "eats my boob". Yes, they still crowd around me like I'm a freak show when it is time to feed her...

INTRODUCING TRACIE, THE BIG BOOBED FEEDER!

... but the interesting questions had stopped.

The other day I had a conversation with Bub that went a little something like this:

Bub: What are you doing?

Me: Feeding the baby.

Bub: Why can't you just go in the kitchen and feed her a hot dog or something?

Me: Trust me, if I could just feed her a hot dog I would.

Bub: Well make her something else. Give her a chip!

Me: She is just a baby and can only have milk right now.

Bub: Oh. Can I have a chip?

Who knew breastfeeding would bring up so many fun conversations?!

(September 10, 2008)

The Baby Eats Mommys Boobs.

I breastfed Alyssa for 6 weeks. I have been a bottle Mom since. It was just a bad experience and a stressful time in my life. I was terrified to try it again. Why I am doing it this time around, I have no clue.

I figured maybe I should explain breastfeeding to the kids a few weeks ago when Alyssa was telling me how excited she was about feeding the baby a bottle like she did with Sophia.

When I explained it to them they both kind of shrugged their shoulders and I felt stupid for explaining it.

Fast forward to Friday night when they were at the hospital visiting. It was time to feed her so I started breastfeeding and that is when the giggles began.

Alyssa: Why are you feeding her your BOOB?!

Me: That is how she eats.

Bubby: She eats your BOOBS?!

Me: Yes. Well, actually she eats the milk inside my boobs.

Alyssa: Your boobs have milk in them?

Me: Yes.

Alyssa: (looking down at her chest) Do MY boobs have milk in them?

Me: No. You have to have a baby to have milk in your boobs.

Bubby: She eats... your BOOBS!

Our first day home when it was time to feed the baby the giggles began again. Alyssa and Bub had to inform everyone in the room that "The baby eats Mommy's boobs!".

Everytime I feed her Sophia comes up to me and says, "Baby bite you! It hurt!".

I guess even though I have some guaranteed crazy-hectic days in front of me I can count on these kids to make me giggle.

(September 1, 2008)

Cereal.

You can always tell when someone is pregnant. I posted this on August 11, 2008 -- 17 days before I had Olivia. Cereal was all I wanted to eat.

**I cannot get enough cereal. It is the only thing I want to eat. When I see the box getting low, I get sad.

"What am I going to eat?"

My favorites are Cinnamon Life, Chocolate Peanut Butter Pops and Shredded Wheat. Cheerios are an old favorite and I was wishing I would have tossed some Frosted Flakes in the cart.
Cereal, it makes me happy.**

Naptime. Bedtime. Confusion.

Me: It's naptime!

Bub: But, it isn't 7:00. (yes, 7:00. they are up at 6:45 everyday and so they need to be in bed by 7:00)

Me: I know, but we take naps after lunch everyday.

Bub: But, it's NOT 7:00.

Last night went a little something like this:

Me: Okay, it is 9:30 and definitely past bedtime.

Bub: But, it's NOT 7:00.

Me: I know. It is 2 hours past 7:00.

Bub: So we can stay up?

Last night they didn't know I was letting them stay up to see Ryan (thanks to those long naps) and around 7:30 Alyssa said, "Bubby, it is past 7:30 and Mom doesn't know. Let's go play in your room so we can stay up. Shhhh!"

(July 27, 2008)

Boy Cows




Me: "Alyssa, are you being a bully today?"
Her: "I'm not a boy cow. You can't call me that!"
(June 22, 2008)

Lesson in Stealing

Alyssa tried to steal for the first time yesterday. She took some candy from the grocery store then tried to blame it on her brother.

I'm not sure what made her take it. I always get them a little snack at the store. I am guessing it is because she always begs us for gum. She "needs" gum. I told her maybe in a few years. Can you imagine her, that hair and a piece of gum?!

Anyway, when we got out to the car Ryan watched her throw the candy into Bub's lap. She then told him to hush. Bub just looked at Ryan and said, "It was Alyssa!". So she had to go back into the store with Ryan and return the gum. Her little face was so red, BUT I think she learned a lesson.

The guy in the store just laughed and rolled his eyes. He thought is was pretty stupid. I told Ryan it doesn't matter. Hopefully she learned from her mistake and won't do it again.

I was proud of her for taking it back in. I figured Ryan would have to do the talking, but he said she told them what she did and apologized.
My son, the mouthy one:

To a lady in the grocery store (her butt got a little too close to our cart for Bub's comfort): "Hey you! Get your butt off my cart!"

To me: "Mom, could you just get out of my way?!" "Mom, could you just stop talking?!" "Mom, could you just listen?!" "Mom, just go over there and leave me alone."

To Ryan: "Dad! Get out of the way!" "Goodnight, Dad. I love you. NOW, I don't want to hear that (points finger to PS3) when I go to bed." "DAD! MOVE!"

To Bamma Heidi: "Just stop it, Heidi."

And the latest victim...Donna, the speech therapist: "Just shut your mouth, Donna."

Will the bar of soap become his Best Friend?

(April 3, 2008)

Bubby and His Little Cup

As I was preparing dinner tonight my son came to me with a little cup in his hand and his pants at his feet.

He said, "Look! I peed in a little cup, Mom."

I am not sure where he got this cup (it was a measuring cup) and I am not sure what made him decide to take it into a room and pee in it.

When I asked why and he responded, "I don't know. I think I should have peed in the toilet next time though."

What did I do with my time before I had kids?

There is always that one person...



... that always sings the wrong words to every song.

To them I say, "Shut-up. Go home and Google!"

(January 5, 2008)

My Hopes For My Children

As a Mother I have so many hopes for my children.

I hope they grow up knowing they have two parents that love them and that there is nothing that could ever change that.

I hope they never conform and are always themselves.

I hope they don't give a damn what their friends are doing and saying.

I hope they find true love in whatever form it comes in.

I hope they know they can always come to us and tell us anything.

I hope they know that no matter where they go or what they do in life, home will always be there when they need it.

I hope my children make a difference. I hope they become good people. People that really love --people that really listen.

I hope my children love to give more than they love to receive. I hope they know we are all human and just trying to do our best.

Most of all, I hope my children are happy. Truly and honestly happy. Shout it from the rooftops happy. Laugh out loud happy. Cry when they are sad happy, enjoy every precious little moment... happy.

(November 27, 2007)

Sibling Rivalry

I love my kids and this is why. They were just arguing and it went a little something like this...

Bubby: "Hi Jo Momma."

Alyssa: "Bubby! I am NOT Jo Momma, YOU are Jo Momma."

Bubby: "You ARE Jo Momma."

Alyssa: "Coogie!" **giggles**

To this I say, "Thank you Spongebob Squarepants".

(October 22, 2007)

Because I Am The Greatest

Alyssa: Let me have my Doodle Pro. I'm going to draw Daddy a picture.

Ryan: You are?!

Alyssa: Yes. I am going to draw you a picture because I am the greatest!

(July 2, 2007)